Doesn’t matter how excited I am about a project, without fail, every time I’m confronted with a blank page, I lose all ability to function like a normal human being. These fingers? I know I’ve had them my whole life but suddenly they don’t belong to me. I started this website months ago and yet here I am, still thinking about how to start these blog posts.
Replying to an email, easy. Starting a new email, kill me. Editing a chapter I’ve already written, child’s play. Starting a new chapter, I am a child. Plotting a complete novel, all day long as I go about my life. Writing a first scene even with my outline right in front of me, how do I even walk and chew gum at the same time?
I’m a writer! I literally get paid to put words on blank pages. It really shouldn’t be this hard.
But it is, isn’t it? While I take comfort knowing that this is common and so many of us deal with this, it doesn’t stop the self doubt, the unkind words said to myself in the darkness, the multiple attempts to start followed by literally anything else because maybe today isn’t the day to start something new.
This blog won’t be about my anxiety but it’s a huge part of my life so I’ll be honest about the ways it helps me (because a little anxiety is actually good) and the ways it derails my life in new and unexpected ways every day. Yayyyyy, said no agoraphobic ever.
So, if a little stream-of-consciousness writing is what it takes to get my mind to unfreeze and get this going, well, that’s what I’ll do.
Welcome to my blog where I hope to post news and updates about my upcoming book releases, talk about the random bits and bobs that are happening in my life, and share the joys and pitfalls of starting a new pen name.
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